It's snowing today. Tomorrow is Christmas 2012. As with many out there, this Christmas will be a "lean" one, materially. There won't be as many presents under the tree, and those that are there won't be as nice or expensive as "Santa" might have wanted. Most grown-ups will understand this. Unfortunately, there are those that are younger and still innocent that will not appreciate the hardships and sacrifices that others have made so that there will be something "under the tree" for them. I have had a few "lean" Christmases over the years. I remember one year, as a single parent, where I couldn't afford even a small Charlie-Brown-sized tree. I had some decorations and ornaments, my "share" from a failed marriage, but nothing to put them on. I had what seemed like "miles" of green tinsel garland in my box of Christmas stuff. So I made my own tree.
In my little basement apartment, there was a swag hook in the ceiling. Apparently I was supposed to hang a lamp on it. I didn't have a lamp. So I took the green garland, anchored it to the carpet, and ran it up to the hook in the ceiling. I repeated this process, looping from the floor to the ceiling until I had a thin pyramid shape that kinda looked like a tree. I hung a few ornaments on it, and my decorating was complete. Now, what to put "under" it?
My sons were still fairly young, and the thing they wanted most was a Nintendo. Not the fancy-schmancy game systems that are out now, just a plain, first-generation Nintendo. I managed to find one (they were a hot item that year) and wrapped it up for them. But having to "share" a gift can take some of the "sparkle" out of the Christmas spirit. And, with the game system only having one game with it, I feared they would grow tired of it quickly. So I found a couple of used games and wrapped them up as well. I don't remember whether or not each of them got "their own" game, but they ended up more than one game to play. They were young enough, and excited enough by the Nintendo that they didn't mind that they had to play with it on my "loaned" black and white portable television. I enjoyed that Christmas, in spite of the sparse surroundings and the garland "tree" in the corner. I can actually look back on it and smile.
This year, I have instructed everyone to not spend any money on me, to not buy me anything for Christmas. I hope that they listened. I have said it in previous years, and ended up with presents anyway. But this year I mean it. It is one of the leanest Christmases to date. However, we do have a tree. I got it out of the attic yesterday, and I'll set it up today. Probably take it down soon, it may not last until New Year's. I don't know yet.
One of the (many) reasons it is so lean this year is where we live. I love it out here. We are away from the hustle and bustle and sirens and drive-by shootings of the big City. It's ten miles to the grocery store, and farther to most everything else. That is also the reason we don't have any money. All of our money seems to go into the gas tank. I recently joined a car pool with other people from my work. We originally took turns driving for a week at a time, and have since changed to alternating days, so no one has to log 360 miles in a week on their vehicle. However, if I get taken to the pick-up point (the grocery store) and dropped off, that means I also have to be picked up at the end of the day. Let's see, ten miles to the grocery, ten miles back, any errands that might crop up, ten miles back to the grocery, pick me up, and ten miles home. That still puts 40 miles minimum through the exhaust pipe. It's only 72 miles round-trip to work and back. I'm not saving much by carpooling. So we are going to fix that. Next month, we will move into an apartment complex "behind" the grocery store. I will be able to walk, in a matter of minutes, to the pickup point for the carpool, thereby saving 40 miles a day when it is not "my" day to drive. Plus, it is a brand-new building, and should have affordable utility bills. Hopefully that will also offset the slightly higher rent. And we had to pay a deposit, so that money was not available for Christmas as well.
But, we will make it through this Christmas, as we have in the past. We will have a White Christmas, if what I see by looking out the window is any indication. We will remember past Christmases, and plan for future ones, tell ourselves (again) that this year we will shop all through the year so it's not one big hit all at once, and next year will be better.
I wish all of you the Merriest of Christmases, and the most Prosperous and Happiest New Year.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
All Dogs go to Heaven, I hope
December 18, 2012
Today I lost another good friend. I had to put my Basset Hound "Gracie" down. She was 12-1/2 years old. She had some chronic cysts, which I guess are somewhat common in Bassets. She had two or three removed in the past, but had one close to her left shoulder that the vet was "watching". He said that if it ruptured to the "inside", it could cause some problems. But if it ruptured to the "outside", it might drain and maybe go away. It ruptured to the outside, luckily, and just "leaked" occasionally. However, after time, and the addition of Sophie (our chihuahua) to our family, the wound got a lot more attention. Sophie would try to "keep it clean", and possibly rubbed it raw in her enthusiasm. Then it would itch, and Gracie would scratch at it. It got progressively worse, and would bleed when disturbed. Then it got to where it smelled like rotting flesh, which it probably was. I don't know that it wasn't cancer, I just couldn't afford the tests and biopsies it would have taken to find out. Also, she was developing two more lumps on her right side. Knowing what I was probably going to have to do made it no easier to do it. But the whole house literally smelled like death. And I realized that I could put it off no longer. So after work today, Janet, Angie, and Gracie "picked me up" after work and we drove to the vet. I signed a form stating that she had not bitten anyone in the last ten days. Then we got to sit in a small room with a couch in it. Gracie was nervous, as she always got when we went to the vet. She hated to have her nails cut, and the vet was the only one who could do it. It was just too stressful on all of us to try to do it ourselves. I was secretly hoping (selfishly, I know) that they could "fix" her and I would have her for longer. But I knew better. They might have been able to extend her life, or she could have died from the anesthesia. She was over twelve, remember?
So Janet and Angie made their exit, as they didn't want to "see" it or be present when "it happened". So Gracie and I and Dr. Clark spent her last minutes together. I loved on her, and pet her while he shaved a spot on her back leg. He told me it was up to me, then. I kissed her on the head, told her I loved her, and Dr. Clark prepared to give her the injection. He mentioned that it would work fast, and that she probably wouldn't even "vocalize". She went to sleep in about five seconds, and her heart stopped about 30 seconds later. Dr. Clark thanked me for allowing him to take care of her over the last twelve years, and I thanked him for his kindness and compassion. Then I removed her collar, and walked in tears, through the waiting room, and went to the car. I am devastated, but I know she is out of pain.
A lot of people pick out their pets, and some spend a lot of time finding the right one. 'Didn't happen that way with Gracie. She picked ME. From the first time I held her, I knew I was her Human.
She loved everyone in the family, but was devoted to me. Would sleep either on my feet or at my feet if she could get up on the bed, and by my side of the bed if she couldn't. She spent the last year or so sleeping on the floor next to the bed.
Today I lost another good friend. I had to put my Basset Hound "Gracie" down. She was 12-1/2 years old. She had some chronic cysts, which I guess are somewhat common in Bassets. She had two or three removed in the past, but had one close to her left shoulder that the vet was "watching". He said that if it ruptured to the "inside", it could cause some problems. But if it ruptured to the "outside", it might drain and maybe go away. It ruptured to the outside, luckily, and just "leaked" occasionally. However, after time, and the addition of Sophie (our chihuahua) to our family, the wound got a lot more attention. Sophie would try to "keep it clean", and possibly rubbed it raw in her enthusiasm. Then it would itch, and Gracie would scratch at it. It got progressively worse, and would bleed when disturbed. Then it got to where it smelled like rotting flesh, which it probably was. I don't know that it wasn't cancer, I just couldn't afford the tests and biopsies it would have taken to find out. Also, she was developing two more lumps on her right side. Knowing what I was probably going to have to do made it no easier to do it. But the whole house literally smelled like death. And I realized that I could put it off no longer. So after work today, Janet, Angie, and Gracie "picked me up" after work and we drove to the vet. I signed a form stating that she had not bitten anyone in the last ten days. Then we got to sit in a small room with a couch in it. Gracie was nervous, as she always got when we went to the vet. She hated to have her nails cut, and the vet was the only one who could do it. It was just too stressful on all of us to try to do it ourselves. I was secretly hoping (selfishly, I know) that they could "fix" her and I would have her for longer. But I knew better. They might have been able to extend her life, or she could have died from the anesthesia. She was over twelve, remember?
So Janet and Angie made their exit, as they didn't want to "see" it or be present when "it happened". So Gracie and I and Dr. Clark spent her last minutes together. I loved on her, and pet her while he shaved a spot on her back leg. He told me it was up to me, then. I kissed her on the head, told her I loved her, and Dr. Clark prepared to give her the injection. He mentioned that it would work fast, and that she probably wouldn't even "vocalize". She went to sleep in about five seconds, and her heart stopped about 30 seconds later. Dr. Clark thanked me for allowing him to take care of her over the last twelve years, and I thanked him for his kindness and compassion. Then I removed her collar, and walked in tears, through the waiting room, and went to the car. I am devastated, but I know she is out of pain.
A lot of people pick out their pets, and some spend a lot of time finding the right one. 'Didn't happen that way with Gracie. She picked ME. From the first time I held her, I knew I was her Human.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
It Starts With A Dream
I have posted in the past about Progress, and Technology. Each is an indicator of the other. But any Progress, or any Technology, can be traced back to an idea, to a "Dream", if you will. Someone somewhere, at some time, thought to themself, "Gee, if there was a(n) [insert anything here], it would sure make Life easier. I wonder why no one has made/invented/thought of one before." I think everyone can understand that concept. Sometimes these revelations or insights happen while we are performing mundane tasks, like scrubbing the floor on our hands and knees. How many innovations could we get from just this one task? Let's see: rubber gloves, knee pads, mops, waxless flooring, electric floor polisher/cleaners, and "skin safe" cleaning solutions all come to mind rather quickly.
Sometimes we may stumble across an idea in an actual dream, while we are asleep. Do you think the Wright Brothers ever dreamed that they could fly like birds? I know that I certainly have.
Do you think that perhaps we have progressed to a point, after which, there is no further progression? Has all technology been discovered? Before you answer, I will admit that there are still an almost infinite number of "things" to invent, books to write, and problems to solve. But except for a very few things, the basic "ingredients" are already there. Electricity, printed circuits, computers, building materials, paper, and ink, (just to mention a few) have all been a part of our daily existence. Are there truly any "new" ideas any more? I don't think there are that many. I think that we, as a society, actually go back to the "time" when the original "invention" came to be, and improve upon it. Not Develop it, just approach an old problem with a new and improved solution. I remember when a modem was limited to 14.4 Kb/s. Someone wanted to go faster, so that it would not take 4 minutes for a page to load on the internet. Old problem, same technology used in the solution, just a different combination of "ingredients". 'Still uses electricity, circuit boards, and a computer, but the parts are put together differently, and now we can communicate in the Gb/s range. Thinking we should be able to go faster is not a "new" idea.
Where am I going with this? I'm not sure, but I think I am going backward. Back in time, you might say. I had a dream the other night:
In my dream, I remember my father taking me around a room, possibly a basement, and showing me lots of things. Things from his past. Toys that he played with when he was a young child. Books that he read, or that were read to him. Clothes that he wore. Papers that he had written, or had "colored". All stages of his life were represented to me. From his early pre-schooling years, through his flight training, and beyond, his life was laid out to me. He wanted me to know of these things. Things that had shaped and steered his life, things that were important to him, and he wanted them to be as important to me. I was shown artwork, his violin and clarinet, even a car that he might have very well driven. All seemingly "ordinary" things. But they shaped his life.
One of my favorite authors is Ray Bradbury. Many years ago he wrote a short story by the name of "A Sound of Thunder". This story, in a nutshell, is about a company that offers trips back in time to give people a chance to hunt and kill a dinosaur. Prior to the adventure, a team was sent "back" to choose and follow the prey so that the hunter(s) would encounter it right at the end of its life. A floating metal walkway was there so that the hunters would not disturb anything on the ground, no matter how seemingly insignificant. During the actual hunt, one of the hunters panicked when he saw the intended prey, a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He left the path and ran blindly through the jungle. The remaining hunters tracked and killed the intended dinosaur. Shortly after the kill, a large tree fell upon the dead dinosaur, insuring that its life was ended "on schedule". After the panicked hunter had found his way back to the path, the party returned to the "present". The office looked the same, but different. Discussion with the staff indicated that a recent election had ended differently than it had before the trip, and the nation (whichever one it was) was now under a dictatorship. Upon examining the hunter's boots, they found a prehistoric butterfly squashed on the sole.
A seemingly innocent deviation of Nature, the early demise of a butterfly, had altered history.
Would my father's life have been different if he had not played the clarinet, or colored a particular picture? I can't say, for sure. How would my life have been different? Or would it have been?
I don't know what the significance of the dream was. Was he telling me that we can't go back, or that we must go back to simpler times?
My friend Randy passed away ten days ago. My father passed away ten years or so ago. My daughter Hilarie passed away eleven years ago today. If I could go back even two weeks, could I make a difference? Ten years? Twelve years? Would I make a difference? If I hadn't killed that rattlesnake up on the mountain, twenty or so years ago, would they still be here? No, I don't think so. The dinosaur was destined to die either way. The Bradbury story was a good one, even thought-provoking. But it was still just a story.
I do remember waking up after the dream, and I felt GOOD. . .refreshed, you might say. I was glad to "see" my Dad again. I remember just "knowing" that what he was saying to me, and what he was showing me, was important. Important not just to him, but for me too.
We can't physically go back in Time. But we can still go back to simpler times. It's how we Progress.
Sometimes we may stumble across an idea in an actual dream, while we are asleep. Do you think the Wright Brothers ever dreamed that they could fly like birds? I know that I certainly have.
Do you think that perhaps we have progressed to a point, after which, there is no further progression? Has all technology been discovered? Before you answer, I will admit that there are still an almost infinite number of "things" to invent, books to write, and problems to solve. But except for a very few things, the basic "ingredients" are already there. Electricity, printed circuits, computers, building materials, paper, and ink, (just to mention a few) have all been a part of our daily existence. Are there truly any "new" ideas any more? I don't think there are that many. I think that we, as a society, actually go back to the "time" when the original "invention" came to be, and improve upon it. Not Develop it, just approach an old problem with a new and improved solution. I remember when a modem was limited to 14.4 Kb/s. Someone wanted to go faster, so that it would not take 4 minutes for a page to load on the internet. Old problem, same technology used in the solution, just a different combination of "ingredients". 'Still uses electricity, circuit boards, and a computer, but the parts are put together differently, and now we can communicate in the Gb/s range. Thinking we should be able to go faster is not a "new" idea.
Where am I going with this? I'm not sure, but I think I am going backward. Back in time, you might say. I had a dream the other night:
In my dream, I remember my father taking me around a room, possibly a basement, and showing me lots of things. Things from his past. Toys that he played with when he was a young child. Books that he read, or that were read to him. Clothes that he wore. Papers that he had written, or had "colored". All stages of his life were represented to me. From his early pre-schooling years, through his flight training, and beyond, his life was laid out to me. He wanted me to know of these things. Things that had shaped and steered his life, things that were important to him, and he wanted them to be as important to me. I was shown artwork, his violin and clarinet, even a car that he might have very well driven. All seemingly "ordinary" things. But they shaped his life.
One of my favorite authors is Ray Bradbury. Many years ago he wrote a short story by the name of "A Sound of Thunder". This story, in a nutshell, is about a company that offers trips back in time to give people a chance to hunt and kill a dinosaur. Prior to the adventure, a team was sent "back" to choose and follow the prey so that the hunter(s) would encounter it right at the end of its life. A floating metal walkway was there so that the hunters would not disturb anything on the ground, no matter how seemingly insignificant. During the actual hunt, one of the hunters panicked when he saw the intended prey, a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He left the path and ran blindly through the jungle. The remaining hunters tracked and killed the intended dinosaur. Shortly after the kill, a large tree fell upon the dead dinosaur, insuring that its life was ended "on schedule". After the panicked hunter had found his way back to the path, the party returned to the "present". The office looked the same, but different. Discussion with the staff indicated that a recent election had ended differently than it had before the trip, and the nation (whichever one it was) was now under a dictatorship. Upon examining the hunter's boots, they found a prehistoric butterfly squashed on the sole.
A seemingly innocent deviation of Nature, the early demise of a butterfly, had altered history.
Would my father's life have been different if he had not played the clarinet, or colored a particular picture? I can't say, for sure. How would my life have been different? Or would it have been?
I don't know what the significance of the dream was. Was he telling me that we can't go back, or that we must go back to simpler times?
My friend Randy passed away ten days ago. My father passed away ten years or so ago. My daughter Hilarie passed away eleven years ago today. If I could go back even two weeks, could I make a difference? Ten years? Twelve years? Would I make a difference? If I hadn't killed that rattlesnake up on the mountain, twenty or so years ago, would they still be here? No, I don't think so. The dinosaur was destined to die either way. The Bradbury story was a good one, even thought-provoking. But it was still just a story.
I do remember waking up after the dream, and I felt GOOD. . .refreshed, you might say. I was glad to "see" my Dad again. I remember just "knowing" that what he was saying to me, and what he was showing me, was important. Important not just to him, but for me too.
We can't physically go back in Time. But we can still go back to simpler times. It's how we Progress.
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